Sad :(

I took down my christmas tree at the office today. I had to take down all of my lovely black ornaments, my Evil Queen ornament, and the one that has "naughty" on one side and "nice" on the other. I kept it on the naughty side. Boss comes back tomorrow, I pretty much haven't gotten anything done there in a while.

So, I haven't posted in gawd only knows how long, so I'll show you my halloween costume:

I was Wednesday Addams. One of the women I work with was going to be Morticia, but she never got around to it. I spend quite a bit of time with that little bunny. Very cute, very soft, and about 10 minutes after this picture was taken, he peed alllllllll over my left boob. Needless to say, I went home, quickly.

The book is: I Hate Myself and Want to Die; The 52 Most Depressing Songs You've Ever Heard. It's freaking hilarious. And I just didn't have time to find a doll to decapitate. I wasn't going to do that to any of the few I have, wait, do I have any . . .?

Oh yeah, HI! Justme! You may be the only one here!

What's Up

I went to see my therapist Thursday, and we are going to be seeing each other weekly for a while, until I can kind of get a handle on this. I took Tuesday afternoon off of work, I just couldn't be there any more, and then I took Friday off, just about the same reason. But I did actually go see Dr. Brain (I'm stealing that from Just Me, it makes sense) on Friday, like the shrink recommended. We are upping my Paxil again, at least until I get the above mentioned handle. I also got a haircut and a 2 hour massage. Can't really shake a stick at that. Mom and Big Boss both brought up moving back to the hometown, but I really, REALLY don't want to do that. There are more jobs there with my company, but I have my life here, my whole support structure, all of my friends and drs. out the wazoo. I've been here 11 years and I love this town, so I'm not planning on leaving anytime soon. Big Boss took me into his office this week and said that as things start to fall into place and he knows what's actually going to happen that he will let me know what he does. That helped. He also said that he's going to be talking to people to help find me another job. That's a huge help, but I'm still scared shitless. I really want to get out of legal. I don't want to go to a law firm, I don't want to move to another legal department in the company, I'm done. I need something new. I'm bored out of my mind where I am. I think it's giving me too much time to think.

I've decided I need to print out a list of all the pills I take every day, laminate it, and keep it in my wallet. I can't remember any more what I'm taking and what the doses are, there are just too many. Now, if I could just lose 100 lbs, I wouldn't have that many to take. Good luck with that one.

Yukky

Weather sucks today. Granted, we don't have it nearly as bad as the rest of the country. At least it's not freezing here (today). It was 60 degrees in my office yesterday. IN THE OFFICE!!!! I finally called the buildings guys and they said they would come back up today to double check on it. Too bad it was in the 40's yesterday and going to be somewhere close to 70 today. Makes a difference inside.

Didn't get crap done last night. Maybe because I was cold all day and it was rainy, but I was in a most craptacular mood last night. Didn't want to do ANYTHING. So, I went home, took a nap, got up, took my pills and read some smut. Nice way to spend an evening.

Oh, Dear, Lord

Am I gonna try this again??? Seems like it. Should be interesting. We will see how it goes, if I ever get back here, what kinda crap I end up yakking about and so on and so forth. . .